The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Being Out Of It, Again.

I think the Browns organization can look upon this year as a real success as the fan base did not lose all hope until November this year.  Traditionally this has been the case in early October, so it’s nice they milked a couple more weeks out of it.  It’s good to see leaves falling before ticket holders have to put in as much effort to find a home for their Browns tickets as you would for an unexpected litter of kittens.

I did not watch the game, as I had no illusions that the Browns would be competitive against the Texans. I also have made it well known that I may not watch another Browns game in 2011 unless I fall prey to a fever, laid out on the couch in front of the TV, and am unable to reach the remote even by crawling across the floor with blood rushing from my eye sockets.  I did watch the Packers vs. Chargers and later the Ravens vs. Steelers last Sunday.  These were both highly entertaining football games played by honest-to-God professionals.  It is a stunning contrast between the entertainment product being served up by Berea and almost all of the rest of the league.

It always seems to be this time of year when you hear people talk about the team, and their conversation is essentially limited to shaking their heads and saying “fucking Browns”.  The organizations inability to put a winner on the field is truly shocking.  What is even more shocking is that every single year, the people of Northeast Ohio expect a different result.  Every single year dudes are grilling hamburgers on hibachis, peeing on the railroad tracks, and walking around in Ty Detmer jerseys in the Municipal lot.  They expect that THIS YEAR will be different.  It wasn’t.  It hasn’t been.  So, let’s take a look back, shall we?

Last year all hope was lost on October 17th when the Browns lost to Pittsburgh 28-10 to go to 1-5.  That is a convenient time for the reality to sink in that the team is awful as you can really focus in on your Halloween costume and leaf raking strategy.1  In 2009, they went 1-8 by November first, but it was pretty clear that team blew when they went  0-4 out of the gate. That season was over on October 4th, though some may argue they should have scrubbed it at the start of training camp.  Having Dante Stallworth kill a guy driving drunk and then worming out of prison by paying the family off certainly gave the team some bad mojo.

The 2008 team started out 0-3, with some wild unfounded expectations giving it more of a sting when they were done by October 19th.  That is one of my favorite Browns teams in memory as they went 0 for their last 6 and scored in double digits only once.  They mercifully relived Romeo Crennel of his duties at the end of that season leaving behind two questions of his regime.  1)  How does a man that basically goes to work in a gym get so out of shape? 2) Where did he find khakis with a 58 inch waist?

December 23rd 2007 was the last time the Browns played a game of consequence when they inexplicably lost to the Bengals and found themselves on the outside looking in of the playoffs.  That season was a fluke, much like when my friend Dave almost had intercourse with one of the cheerleaders in high school.  It was a perfect confluence of events where she was drunk on wine coolers, she needed his help on a chemistry lab, and she needed a ride home from a party.  He got as close to putting his wiener in there as the Browns got to the Playoffs in 2007.  Both “got a sniff” as they say, and both fell short…

There is just no hope.  There are 4 or 5 good guys, and the rest of the team just sucks.  The coaching staff doesn’t appear to have a plan.  There’s more “blah blah blah” from the front office about “The Process” of building a winner.  Every few years there’s new guy hired to talk about “the great fans of Cleveland” and “how they deserve a winner”.  It’s all just complete nonsense.  No one there has any idea about what they are doing.  You know how I know this?  Because there is no evidence of any improvement whatsoever.2

If people stopped going to the games, or more importantly, stopped watching, I think they would get serious about trying to win.  There would be too much explaining in the national media about how out of work steelworkers and blue-collar auto manufacturing guys would rather spend time pursuing something like building model airplanes than spending Sunday at a Browns game.  And if the ratings for the games dipped somewhere near a Matlock repeat, well fed white guys would be screaming at other well fed white guys about lost revenues.  When really really rich people start losing money, things will change.

That’s not going to happen though.  For some reason, people like taking a leak in between parked cars downtown, and wearing their “Droughns”  jerseys in the Godforsaken wind down by the lake.  And that’s cool.  You should do what you like to do.  Just don’t get worked up when the team blows.  The team is out of it now, because the team is ALWAYS out of it now.  Don’t be pissed off or surprised.

Go Browns.

 

– Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

 

 

  1. Editor’s Note: Of course the Browns then went on to provide false hope by beating the Pats and Saints ultimately “seeming” competitive going 4-2 against some strong teams, but the wheels fell off the bus and they limped home going 0-4 to end the year and looking just like the team that had started 1-5, maybe even worse. []
  2. Further editor follow-up: There does appear to be signs starting to show of having designed this 2011 team around aiming for a higher draft picks in 2012 though… []

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Posted by on Nov 8 2011. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

2 Comments for “Being Out Of It, Again.”

  1. Pete Schmuhl

    Last week was the first game I watched from beginning to end….I seem to do this every year once. It makes me stop watching. Every year I wonder why people invest in shirts and jersey of the newest stars??? What do you do with a Brady Quinn jersey now? Tell us, so all the the people with Peyton Hillis and Colt McCoy jerseys have a plan for next year. The “official” fan jersey should have a row of question marks across the top where the name belongs and a larger one where the number belongs. This way you could wear it year after year and not look ridiculous….

    • Mike James

      How about each “Official Browns Jerseys” comes with Velcro on-and-off numbers and letters. Probably only reason why they haven’t gone to this already is because of all the 4-letter words folks would be wearing on their Browns gear that go beyond just stating, “F-A-I-L”.

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