The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Defending Mike Holmgren?


It’s good to see Browns fans actually getting worked up about the team sucking ass since roughly before the invention of the internal combustion engine.  Normally Browns fans will not only eagerly eat their annual shit sandwich, but pay a PSL for the “privilege” of a place to sit while they are eating.  There really isn’t any other entertainment product anyone would do this for.  For example, would you go see Creed play if they came on tour every year?  “Yeah, me and the guys from work have gone to see Creed at the Q every single year.  They blow every single time, and ticket prices keep going up.  But, we’re Creed fans and proud of it!  I already got my tickets for the show this Summer.  Hopefully they’ll just kinda blow this time and show a little improvement.”

Mike Holmgren seems so put out by the fans wondering why he has absolutely no sense of urgency.  “Hey, what’s the hurry here?  We have a process.”  He really has gotten indignant about people asking questions about why he has wasted two years coming to the same conclusion as anyone rational person that has seen the team play.  In a nutshell, the problem is this:  They need a lot more good guys.

Holmgren seems to feel he has a pass with his “Been There, Done That” card he plays.  This is known as “The Mike Shanahan Gambit” in certain circles.  The logic being, “I have been a coach for a team that won a Super Bowl, therefore I am beyond reproach on matters of decision making in ALL areas”.  This is an interesting interpretation of past events, as it seems to me in most cases that the team that has a really good quarterback gets into and wins in the Playoffs/Super Bowl.  For example, when Mike Shanahan had John Elway, he was a fucking genius.  Now he just seems like that hothead middle school science teacher you had that pushed you around because he had “authority” over you.  When you looked back at him later you thought, “Man, why was that guy such a dick?” not “Boy, he sure taught me a few things!”

From my understanding, Holmgren breezes into the Browns facility now and again, presumably on paydays if he hasn’t signed up for that convenient direct deposit that so many businesses offer employees nowadays.  He really has that air of a guy that has wanted to get the top executive job so he could goof off until he retires.  “Man, this coaching thing sucks.  The media is always on my ass.  I gotta get that Executive President job.  Get behind a desk.  Go in, have a few meetings, talk about the draft once a year, play some golf, and get a nice expense account.  Milk that for a few years and then maybe get a nice little place in Naples.”   Right?  You can’t tell me that he isn’t pissed off that fans actually expect him to do something beyond bringing in his old backup QB from Seattle.

I think that Holmgren was a genius when he had Bret Favre, not so smart for awhile, then got pretty smart again when he milked a couple healthy years out of Matt Hasslebeck.  If he wants things to be nice and quiet in that office of his again, he better get lucky and find himself a better than average quarterback.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see a trade for Matt Flynn or Kevin Kolb this off season.  This is not so much because it’s the right thing for the franchise, but it will quiet down the angry villagers and let the top executives get back to their golf.


-Greg Miller

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Posted by on Jan 17 2012. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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