The DEFEND Cleveland Show

The Indians May Never Win Again


The astounding downward spiral of the Indians over the last nine days has been one of the most noteworthy collapses in Cleveland sports history.  This scrappy little contender takes two of three from the Big Bad Tigers at home, and the wheels come completely off.  I was watching their game yesterday with one eye while watching my beloved Giants pound the crap out of the Rockies.1 After the Tribe scored two of their three in the tenth I thought, “Well, they finally won one and I lost the bet”.

I started betting against the Indians after they took those two of three from Detroit and headed to Minnesota.  Having lived in NE Ohio for as long as I have, I know that without question they were going to lay an egg in Minnesota and KC.  Admit it, you felt it too.2 Whenever the Cleveland teams have success in their grasp, and they have to beat an inferior opponent, they manage to fall to the level of their competition and lose.  It’s what they do.  The Browns beat the Steelers on the road, you know they will lose to Cincinnati at home.  The Cavs win on the road in Chicago?  Here comes a loss in Milwaukee.  The Indians in position to make a run?  Look out below!

I figured they would go 3-6 on the trip, or maybe 4-5.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think they would flame out like a cheap sky rocket.  I laid my money on the Twins and never looked back.  Feeling the team was “on a roll”, I continued to pump cash into the Royals and kept winning.  What is interesting about the Royals is that they continually have a farm system that is touted as having incredible prospects, yet the Royals always blow.  This year most “experts” had them at slightly over .500 and being a factor to contend.  Any team that runs Bruce Chen out every five days and willingly traded for Jonathon Sanchez to take the mound has no chance.  Unless you play the Indians.  Doesn’t it seem like the Royals always have the Indians number, even when Cleveland had a payroll ten times that of KC?3 And the Royals cut through the Tribe like a hot knife through butter…

Betting on the Tigers was easy, and the lines reflected it.  When you see Max Scherzer as an almost 2-1 favorite, you know “The Public” has turned on The Tribe.  There must have been people lined up with pillow cases of hundreds betting on the Tigers all weekend.  No matter what Vegas moved that number to, the Public could smell the blood in the water.  However, there is no way anyone could have sensed the so-horrible-it-was-awesome demise of the Indians yesterday.

I checked my MLB app on my phone as I sprawled out on my chaise, drinking an expensive bottle of wine courtesy of Derek Lowe’s last start.  (Thanks Derek!  I’ll never say a bad word about your time here as an Indian!)  When I saw the Indians lost, I figured I must have scrolled to the wrong day.  It was only when I double checked and clicked onto the video player to watch Miguel Cabrera’s ball majestically arch out into the stands that I believed it.  Did you see Perez slump over almost the second he released that pitch?  Watch the clip again.  I swear to you he knew that ball was out even before Cabrera swung at it.  I was laughing like a mental patient when I watched it over and over and over.

I made so much money over the last nine days that I might buy a gold grill for my teeth.  Granted, this will radically change my image from “smart mouth cowboy” to “suburban guy with fucked up teeth”, but one needs to celebrate life’s little victories.   I plan to keep betting against the Indians until I see some semblance of life in them.  As far as I am concerned, I’d like to milk another week out of this.  It does appear as if this particular collection of guys may never win another baseball game again.  Sadly, that isn’t the case.  It’s baseball, and it will revert back to the mean.  They will win again.

At some point.

In theory.

Go Tribe.


-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at

  1. For how Greg dropped the Tribe and chose to then fall for another, you have to go back to his first post for The Defend Cleveland Show back over a year ago with the piece “Defend Cleveland? Ok, but only if I can attack it too.“ []
  2. Editor’s note: Nope, didn’t feel it. Not even sure I do now, even still. []
  3. Editor’s note: Actually, the Royals in the 18-19 games against the Indians they typically play as Division foes each year, haven’t won the overall head-to-head against Cleveland any season since 2003, the year they beat the Tribe 13 games to 6. The 2003 KC team that year went 83-79  (the Tribe went 68-94) making them the first and last Royals club to post an overall winning record in a season since 1993. So, though Mr. Miller is wrong here, if feels like he’s getting on a roll. Let’s see where it takes him… []

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Posted by on Aug 6 2012. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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