The Very Clear Future of the Cleveland Browns
Upper management was already in motion when Jimmy Haslam left the Browns’ locker room earlier this week. He delivered a talk to the team following their first victory of the season whereupon he went to lunch. He left most of the Browns, young and impressionable, like clay, to be molded by his smile and vigor. At lunch he ordered the clam chowder with Texas bread and the man he was with ordered the California chicken sandwich named for its use of avocado.
At lunch Jimmy talked about what his next step would be in organizing the organization. He drank beer. The man he was with drank water and often nodded or prodded but never disagreed. It’s detrimental to his status with the NFL owner then ultimately, his paycheck. Not that Jimmy Haslam minds disagreement. Sure he even likes it, having said before, “Two pig in a barrel ain’t fun without dynamite.”
Jimmy is a salesman and a civic and political philanthropist but also a passionate sports fan. That is not to be discounted and to see him on Sunday, today, fired up about instances of impotence, it all felt very real. A knack for story, he is attempting to steer the Browns with the momentum of linear narrative. He is selling this by the gallon. Emotional philanthropy—you can’t buy it. It has been drilled for offshore or caught with a fishing rod or snared in a few tuna nets but never bought.
After lunch, on Jimmy, the men wiped away the chowder and avocado before folding their napkins, tossing them to the table. “Do you think what I said back there, all of that selling, do you think it took? I’m not sure. They’re young, friend, real young.” Jimmy tongued his teeth, “Where should we go now?” But before the man he was with could answer, Jimmy already knew what he wanted. He always does. “Let’s go bowling, do you like bowling?” he asked. The man he was with nodded, “Sure.” Jimmy always knows what he wants.
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