The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Cleveland Indians Hot Stove League

 

With everyone all giddy about the 4-8 Powerhouse Cleveland Browns, I hate to bring your attention to the Cleveland Indians and the Winter Baseball Meetings.  If you are planning on going to Progressive Field in 2013, you’d best brace yourself for a really shitty baseball team.  With 162 games, there is nowhere to hide a total lack of talent, and make no mistake; the 2013 Cleveland Indians will be almost totally bereft of any legitimate MLB players.

The Indians are talking about, with a straight face I might add, bringing in players like Jason Bay and Kevin Youkilis.  This is like going to a used car lot and trying to decide whether to add the 1997 Saab 900 with transmission problems or the 2004 Ford Mustang with the cracked engine block.  You distinctly remember both of those cars being desirable automobiles, yet you know in your heart that either one of those cars will leave you broken down in the rain without warning.  Still, wouldn’t it be great if you could just get another 10,000 miles out of either of them…

This is a modern day version of when the Indians in the early 90’s couldn’t get legit free agents to sign here, so they overpaid crusty veterans that wanted one last paycheck before heading off to their golf course of choice.  Bay and Youkilis are the Dave Winfield and Keith Hernandez of the modern age.  Two guys that were once outstanding players that now are at the end of the line and just need one more team to believe they can produce like they did five years ago.  (They can’t.  That’s why really good teams haven’t already signed them.)

This problem places the Indians in the undesirable position of having to trade their only real assets (Cabrera, Choo, Perez, and Masterson) in hopes they can identify a plethora of raw upcoming talent to re-stock the shelves of the minors.  This seems very unlikely to happen as planned since the shitty guys on the team now they’re trying to replace are the “stars of the future” they traded for over the last five years.  I question the organization’s ability to identify and acquire young talent.  Oh, and that’s not just because they traded Cliff Lee for a 19 year old with a bad shoulder that will never play.  It’s more because they traded future Hall of Famer CC Sabathia for a power hitter that can’t hit for power.  And Coco Crisp for a third baseman that washed out.  And Victor Martinez for a journeyman starter.  And they haven’t drafted a good player since Manny. Should I go on?

So Indians fan, here are your options.

1) The crappy 68 win team from last year runs out the same basic team except Youkilis instead of Kotchman.  Maybe they gift-wrap another $5 million to Grady Sizemore and hope his body doesn’t shatter.  It has every year for the last four.  I’m sure it won’t happen again.  Lots of guys come back after four straight years of injuries.  I can’t think of any right now, but I’m sure there are… Does Steve Austin, The Bionic Man count?  I bet that guy could rip a hanging slider.

2)      They totally gut the team and Jason Kipnis, Carlos Santana, and The Rest of The Cleveland Indians hope 60 wins and 73 Dollar Dog Nights with Rock n Boom Fireworks gets it done.  There will be plenty of spin on “the exciting young players down in Akron” that will have to be rushed to the majors so they can in theory hit their stride when guys like Brantley, Pestano, and whatever three starters are healthy and not terrible are still under contract. This seems like an impossible dream, but it’s probably better than option #1.

The bottom line is no matter what course of action the team chooses, they are gonna totally blow.  They can’t/won’t sign anyone.  They aren’t going to put the money into the team that you need to in order to compete.  They have Bad Plan #1 or Bad Plan #2.  Either way, it’s going to be a long summer in a largely empty stadium.  The only question is will you have heard of some or none of the guys flailing around on the diamond.

Three months til pitcher and catchers report!  Go Tribe?

 

-Greg Miller

 

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

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Posted by on Dec 4 2012. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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