Now for some delusional Browns “In the Hunt” Wild Card talk, just because this three game winning streak has the DC Show a bit high on life right now…and because it’s technically possible. Alright, mostly due to the high, but also because as beaten and bruised as we Browns fans are from decades of losing, it feels good to go ahead and have some fun. We’ve earned it.
First things for this scenario of new found success, let’s suppose Indy wins one more game this season and so does Baltimore. Neither is a given since Indy plays Houston twice (but also plays KC), and Baltimore has to play home to Denver, Giants and at Cincinnati, but since we’ve again earned this fun, let’s just say both get at least one more win which is highly probable anyway. This would give the Ravens the AFC North and Indy one of the two AFC Wild Card spots.
At this point of rolling with this fanciful fantasy of a Browns playoff probably best suited for an opium den, let’s go ahead and say the Jets suck and they lose at least one of their last three games.1 Next, we say Buffalo and Miami doesn’t win three in a row which is something Buffalo hasn’t done since the start of 2011 anyway, and is unlikely for Miami too given they’ve lost five of their last six. Then, let’s say neither Pittsburgh nor the Bengals win more than one game left on their schedule. And given the Bengals play at Philly, at Pitt and end the year with Baltimore at home, and Pitt plays at Dallas, then closes with Cinci and the Browns at home, both the Bengals and the Steelers getting only one more win is not completely implausible.
Got all that so far? Pretty easy, right? And we haven’t even said anything completely crazy…yet. On that note we’ve left the best part of this dream for last. Which is also the most unlikely part. Let’s say Browns sweep out and end the season with a six game win streak. 8-8, baby!
I know. Calm down. Before you shout “No WAY!” and shout yourself hoarse doing so, know, though admittedly unlikely, this isn’t totally impossible either.
Given Cleveland’s schedule of Washington at home who might be without RGIII (knee injury) and a Steelers team they’ve beaten once already and who just lost to San Diego at home, you have to think the only real glaring moment of doubt in the Browns winning their last three is having to go to Denver in a couple weeks. But when you consider the Browns started 0-5 and still are technically “In the Hunt” to even be able to have this conversation in the first place…even if only “technically” speaking…does a win in Denver sound totally impossible at the moment? Sure doesn’t. Maybe somewhat impossible, sure, but not totally.2
Okay, these benevolent acts need to occur and see the same sports gods who finally saw fit to remove their Modell/Lerner dark cloud that’s held sway over this organization for nearly 50 years to magically let it happen…and this would leave a playoff picture with one Wild Card spot left in the AFC and the Browns either leading or tied with Cincinnati, the Jets, Pittsburgh and San Diego, AND Cleveland would hold any tie breakers due to head-to-head battles or by way of having the better Conference record. What happens then…would be widespread tears of joy.
We all may be feeling high from watching the Browns win three games in a row right now, but if all this were to make up the next three weeks of NFL football, no matter how improbable (to which it’s really not), the hospitals in Cleveland would be overflowing with patients outright suffering from a Browns overdose.3 And it would be the best epidemic this city could ever wish for. Way better than any old Mayan prophecy of Armageddon, that’s for sure.
Either way, any way, go Browns!
Listen to last Monday’s “The Defend Cleveland Show” in its entirety by clicking here.
The DC Show with host Mike James airs live every Monday morning from 9am-11:30am on WRUW-FM 91.1 Cleveland, and streams world wide here.
- This might be the easiest part in this vision of a perfect future because the Jets actually do suck. [↩]
- Keep in mind, I prefaced all this a few times with my being high on three straight wins. So let me have this one. [↩]
- As one fan of the show said, it would be “Kardiac Arrest!” [↩]
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