The DEFEND Cleveland Show

ESPN’s “First Take”, Who’s Watching This?!


Why is it I feel the same sort of embarrassment walking into a room and seeing ESPN’s “First Take” on TV as I did when walking in on my parents having sex when I was but a lad?  It’s an uncomfortable thing to see, and the best course of action is to attempt to shield your eyes as you back out of the room muttering apologies.  “Oh Jesus… I’m sorry, so very sorry…”

Most people have ceased to take Skip Bayless seriously after he transparently decided to become a caricature for Contrarianism.  “Skip… What do you think about what went on this weekend?”  Up is down!  Down is up!  Tony Romo may be the best Dallas Cowboy QB in their history, certainly better than Roger Staubach.  I believe Carmelo Anthony could be the best all around player in the NBA and the Knicks will win the NBA crown!  Tiger Woods may never break par again!  Don’t be surprised to see the Boston red Sox win the next five World Series in a row, but only AFTER they trade Dustin Pedroia for Jason Kipnis!  My sources tell me the sun will not rise tomorrow!

Skip Bayless doesn’t even believe what Skip Bayless says, so why should you?  He says everything from the point of view of a man that has been blessed with the ability to ferret out the truth and has the confidence to tell you the straight up dope.  The obvious issue is that he doesn’t appear to have any real sources and is basically a stream of consciousness in a cheap sport coat.  Skip Bayless thought Japan was going to win World War 2.  Skip Bayless was on record saying the USSR was going to win the Cold War by two touchdowns.  Skip Bayless bought armloads of Facebook stock and passed on Apple.  Skip Bayless doesn’t know anything about anything.  He does let her rip with great confidence though, and that is the key to the show.

Stephen A. Smith is the real scary one.  His tactic has always been to try and drown out Skip’s bellowing with his own screaming.  His presentation has always been that variation of jailhouse philosopher mixed with street corner snitch.  He always intimates he has some sort of secret information pipeline with the NBA, as if he is a confidant to the biggest stars.  He is always sure to name drop not only who he allegedly communicated with, but how he got it done.  “Skip…  I received a Twitter from Kobe Bryant last night that confirmed an earlier Instagram from Dwight Howard that backed up a lengthy diatribe I had been couriered from Latrell Sprewell concerning a conversation I had at a nightclub opening in Manhattan with Dwayne Wade regarding a text he received in a cab from Rondo confirming the fact that the Minnesota Timberwolves are about to sign Chris Paul to a multi year contract that includes a clause making him the next Commissioner of the NBA!”

Stephen A. Smith is no more of an NBA insider than any of the security guards that work courtside at the Q.  He is that little kid at the jock lunch table in High School that tries to be the clown so he can get some of their magic to rub off on him.  He’s the guy that takes a plate of spaghetti on the head and tries to play it off like he was in on the joke.  And you know what?  It’s totally working for him…  Look at him.  He’s a guy that doesn’t know anything but from all appearances is some sort of expert.  I would never buy a used car from Stephen A. Smith, and you know what?  You wouldn’t either.

I find it odd that ESPN, the supposed sports authority network, has two guys host a talk show that apparently have no real knowledge of sports.  Every year Skip thinks the Cowboys are going all the way.  Stephen A. loves to try and outsmart every one about the NBA.  His pick last year of OKC as a “lock” to win the NBA title was rather telling.  No matter.  Neither guy even remembers what he said two seconds ago much less last year.  It’s all about having two guys argue back and forth from preposterous positions and hope that ANYONE watches in that dead time in the afternoon.

Unfortunately, today that someone was me.


-Greg Miller

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Posted by on Feb 5 2013. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

2 Comments for “ESPN’s “First Take”, Who’s Watching This?!”

  1. Joe C

    I find it funny that if you google “first take” and then click on the first take image (the one of skip and stephen a back to back”) it brings up a google images modal window and then if you click “Visti Page” it brings you to this website. That should be a win for you. While I concur with everything you said. I don’t always feel that way. It varies from topic to topic. Some of the other things that bothewr me the most are when the talk about their wardrobe, when Cari Champion completes peoples sentences and laughs every time Stephen A. acts out, and just about any time that Stephen A talks about race. I think the one that gets me the most was something like “white people just have to do their job, black people have a responsibility”. Do you recall that? I don’t disagree with what he is trying to say in that sentence, I would just appreciate it if he left us white folk out of it. All he has to say is “black people have a responsibility (when the go to work)”. When he makes the comparison it pollutes his real point because it now becomes a race issue based on the comparison. I could probably go on and on about this.

  2. Ray Charles

    Joey Crawford, yes is over zealous. Kevin Durant’s whole ranking will depend on this series. Scott Brooks is an average Coach, and is punked by Russell Westbrook!

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