The DEFEND Cleveland Show

The Phallic Reciprocity of Spring Fertilization


In our garden we have Brussels Sprouts plants that have been hangers on from last season, currently shafting to the clouds. Their unctuous erection is enough to make even hibernating bears anxious, the sky as the female end of an adapter which needs no adapting. The stalk’s survival of the oft-decimating cold serves as not only heavy thematic imagery but is also indicative of the region. The sprouts, little buds, have been slowly keening throughout the winter months, rolling over themselves the little leaves that allow for survival through attrition and minimal absolute nutrition. Late October I was asked by my wife to pick the remaining sprouts for a vegetable lasagna that required those supple little leaves. I found them bearing the mark of the rabbit’s teeth. There were tiny amounts of disappointment. My laziness led to me to not till the garden and while the rest of the plants became one with the eternal dust, Brussels had no such plan—stalks to the skies, boys. Are not the bat, ball and glove the epitome of the cycle? Spring, sport and fertilization? Rebirth and all of that? If the smell of thawing ground and the first four series have taught us anything it is that the phallic reciprocity of spring springs eternal for northeast Ohio. Welcome back to baseball.


-Jon Conley

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Posted by on Apr 16 2013. Filed under Featured, Show Reports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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