The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Why I Hate Chris Bosh, or, What is Wrong with Everyone?, or, How I Learned to Love Paul Pierce

bosh

 

his face

his old hair

his new hair

his gumline

his tiny hands

his resemblance to a raptor

his showboating

his lack of a boat

his sense of entitlement

his teeth

his refusal to age gracefully

his aversion to sushi

his way of tying his shoes so that the knot is upside down when he finishes and then it has to flip on its own

his commercially unsuccessful facial features

his quick relapse time from smile to pout

his distaste for the back 9 as if it were the front 9’s fault

his skinny feet

his overbite

his hidden snack cabinet filled only with vanilla zingers

his stat sheet

his need to wear floaties near the water

his need to take off his floaties when he enters the water because they “start to feel too heavy”

his breakable silence

his falsies

his pasties

his contract

his abhorrence of needles

his queasiness at funerals

his tears

his teddy bears

his passive stance on the cultural misappropriation of the name “House of Blues”

his voting record

his strive for greatness which is just a glorified piggyback on other greats

and his nightgown

 
 
-Jon Conley
 
For more great offerings from Jon, follow him on  Tumblr.

Listen to last Monday’s “The Defend Cleveland Show” in its entirety by clicking here.

The DC Show with host Mike James airs live every Monday morning from 9am-11:30am on WRUW-FM 91.1 Cleveland, and streams world wide here.

And listen every Friday to “Defend Cleveland Friday with Mike and Joe”  by clicking here, a weekly hour long Cleveland sports podcast companion to the DC Show that’s the best way to end you week, and the only way to begin your weekend.

Short URL: http://www.defendclevelandshow.com/?p=2255

Posted by on May 7 2014. Filed under Featured, Show Reports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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