The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Breaking LeBron News!!!!!!!

Breaking LeBron New

 

This LeBron James free agency mania is perhaps even crazier than his departure from Cleveland four years ago, and I can’t get enough of it.  The constant stream of reports that are saying EXACTLY THE SAME THING are absolutely unstoppable.  “An unnamed source that is allegedly close to a guy that knows LeBron’s agent said it is a 65% chance he is coming back to Cleveland”  Each report is amazing in that is really says nothing, and yet no one cares.  Just add more fuel to the fire.  Somebody get Chris Broussard on the phone for more speculation!

The LeBron signing drama is five times as good as any actual NBA game.  Honestly, NBA basketball pretty much sucks.  I don’t feel the need to have a “Scream Team” shoot ugly sponsor logo t-shirts at me from a fucking air cannon while deafening strip club music thuds into my skull.  What’s the payoff?  Watching Nazr Mohammed loaf back on defense while Dion Waiters chucks up a three?  Maybe I can feel dirty while sneaking a peek at the 19 year old moonlighting yoga instructor cheerleaders dry humping the floor during time outs.  Hey, that old man is dancing on the jumbotron!  Who needs to spend a cold February night that way?  This is way better than the actual games!

The LeBron signing is something that is so much more dramatic than the inevitable champion marching through three months of NBA playoffs.  It’s got it all.  Will LeBron return as the prodigal son to the “home” he spurned years ago?  Can LeBron forgive the hot tempered owner that told him to leave the house and never come back like a Depression Era father figure?  How will the other out of touch players like Bosh, Wade, and Carmelo respond and manipulate the events?  Will the City of Cleveland once again have their dreams crushed like a cigarette butt in front of the sports world?

The momentum that has grown around LeBron’s imminent return is undeniable.  It has gone from “he might look at it” to “the pieces might fit” to “our sources tell us that LeBron’s closest advisor has scheduled a haircut in his hometown of Akron later this week, which leads us to believe that he is going to be in the NBA Finals as a Cavalier next year!”.   Wild ass rumors are everywhere.  Nike has purchased ALL the billboards in Cleveland for a “secret” campaign that will be unveiled on Friday.  LeBron has two car transports delivering his luxury auto fleet to Akron as we speak.  LeBron’s children were enrolled in the Akron Public School District last week.  LeBron posted a picture of his childhood friends from Akron on his Twitter page clandestinely providing clues to fans much like combing through a Beatles record cover while listening to it backwards.  I buried Paul indeed.

I think the most important thing to note is that LeBron has given absolutely no indication whatsoever that he is joining the Cavaliers.  He hasn’t mentioned them.  He hasn’t traveled to Cleveland.  He hasn’t met with the owner, coach, or GM.  He did let his old teammate and friend Z fly down to South Beach though.  That’s the same as meeting with Pat Riley and the Miami staff, right?  This entire thing has blown up completely on the strength of ESPN and other sports media working themselves into a lather.  There are no facts.  None.  Yet the “percentage chance LeBron James is going to Cleveland” continues to increase.  It is absolutely awesome.

I find it amazing that Miami Heat have gone from the NBA Finals and clear class of the East into the perception of a broken down old team literally overnight.  The same guys that LeBron clearly would have no interest in playing with (according to ESPN) cut through the Eastern Conference like a hot knife through butter.  Just as suddenly, the Cleveland Cavaliers are a powerhouse in waiting with a core of incredible talent.  That’s the best part of the story!  How did that happen?  Rational human beings are setting forth with the idea that the 33-49 Cavaliers are clearly a better fit to Win Now with an untested 19 year old Wiggins added to the fold than the 54-28 Heat team LeBron would be leaving.  This is the same Cavalier team with a first year GM, a first year coach that has never coached in the NBA, and an owner that has a personal relationship with James that is “rocky” at best.  Did LeBron even look at Dan Gilbert when he came in for Z’s number retirement ceremony?  Meanwhile, the other option would be for him to stay with Pat Riley and his long history of success, a great owner, good friends on the roster, and the tax free south Florida lifestyle.

I set forth that LeBron would be even a bigger quitter than he was perceived to be on the Cavs if he bails from Miami.  Two championships in four years was not the run of greatness those guys expected when they were dancing like drunken sailors after The Decision four years ago.  It’s pretty good, but after stacking the deck the way they did, we all expected more.  Maybe it was because those guys were all laughing it up saying “Not 1! Not 2! 3! 4! 5!”.  Yuk Yuk Yuk Yuk.  In the last two years, they beat San Antonio once, and lost to them once.  Isn’t this what those great LA v Boston rivalries were all about?  Two heavyweight teams doing whatever it took to win the following year, not shuffling the deck and trying to find a way to cheat the work necessary by hopscotching around to whatever the best looking situation is at the moment.  “Hey the Lakers kicked the Celtics ass.  Did you hear that Larry Bird is now a 76er?  Yeah, he and Dr. J are going to call Isiah Thomas and see if they can beat Magic next year!  Go Philly!  Whoo-hoo!”

I don’t know how this thing will play out.  Unless LeBron loses his mind, I would expect to see him as a member of the Heat for a couple of years.  Hopefully he doesn’t tell anyone what he’s going to do until next week sometime, and by then the people of Cleveland can move from “Do you think this is really going to happen?” straight into “This is happening!” despite no real reason to make that leap.  That way they will hate LeBron all over again, even though this time it wasn’t even his fault.

 
 
-Greg Miller
 
Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

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Posted by on Jul 10 2014. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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