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Report: Indians—Eve of Preseason—Gay Games—Spurs—Cavs

Indians are awful. Attempted note taking during the Mariners series led to realizations of why no one is talking baseball. It is not the trades. If you believe that the trades took with them the wind and turned our sails into white flags then you believe that a wobbling pear-shaped Masterson and a hapless glass-jawed Cabrera were wind.

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Preseason Game 1. This national coverage of Hoyer and Manziel—who the fuck are these guys? Unproven, undersized talents? I’m tempted to use quotation. Browns offense will be awful all season. What stops you from believing it? The defense has a shot but in an offense driven decade, a defense on the table for too long is a defense rotting. 6 wins under a rookie coach with barely workable cogs would be considered not-a-disaster for Haslem and lawd knows that’s enough.

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The Gay Games are loud and well in Cleveland. Just the other day when getting Coffee in Tremont I happened on a gaggle of athletic and obviously homosexual men drinking espresso. I dipped my finger in the foam of my traditional macchiato and asked what they would be playing in the games. But they were not a team. As it turns they were not athletes in the Games at all. Were they not gay? Well, not all toned gay men are athletes and not all athletes in the Gay Games need be homosexual nor men. Square, rectangle, rectangle, square, I swiftly couriered the news back to the western suburbs.

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There is finally a female in the NBA. Congratulations to the Spurs, obviously major sport’s most forward-minded and progressively thinking organization. They have bucked every trend—age over youth, chemistry over athleticism, deep-seated bedding with the international talent pool, thriving domination from a medium market. Hopefully, after long, female influence will stem beyond management, beyond the mind. Men have been co-opting (read: misappropriating) and rebranding female thought forever but never openly the body. That is only behind closed doors. Here’s to hoping cultural misappropriation, a Euro-Anglo treat, disappears through sport. Women should be allowed to play in the NBA and the MLB and sure the NFL if they like. See my own imbedded, monarch-programmed bullshit?

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The Cavs are going to be the balls walls but we cannot know what that will feel like yet. We need not dwell because it will happen and we will all find out when the city is burning. Where should we watch the finals next year?

 
 
– Jon Conley
 
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Posted by on Aug 10 2014. Filed under Featured, Show Reports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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