The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Mike James’ Week 8 NFL Picks


“Pomposity”. Just think, for this word to exist it means that back when Latin was still in its developmental stages there was someone who acted so pompously, additional suffixes were needed to better describe this asshole. These were the days of Homer and epic poetry, and apparently they were a little too epic at times. Over the last couple weeks pomposity might best describe Mike James’ sheer brazen attitude he’s had on display here with his picks of the week, and that’s because every single one of those picks ended up being wrong. From 13-1-1 against the spread through 5 weeks of NFL, to 0-6 the last two and all of a sudden it looks as if Mike might have pissed off the Vegas gods by flying too close to the sun. Will he safely ascend this week once again or will he crash and burn? Is he sharp or is he square? Here’s betting that the odds are still in his favor.


13-7-1 on the season and counting…


Kansas City -3.5 vs Detroit in London. Nothing like the last awful matchup of NFL England 2K15 being a game that pits a 2-5 team versus a 1-6 team. What are we really showcasing to the Brits with this? You have the Lions who just 5 days ago let Jim Caldwell fire his offensive coordinator and line coaches as if to say it was all their fault this team sucks and not the head coach’s, going head to head against a Chiefs team with a QB who can’t see anything beyond 10 yards downfield that’s also playing without its only real stud on offense, Jamaal Charles. If the NFL were the history of music, sending these two teams to play across the Atlantic isn’t exactly the same as exporting the blues and rock & roll. It’s more like bragging about all this unbelievably music we have here in America and then playing them a Disco Biscuits album. “NFL action in London, it’s as good as a krusty bro wanking off a 10 minute ‘trance fusion’ synthesizer solo, don’t miss a minute of it!” Still though, one of these steaming piles is sure to stink less than the other by lunchtime tomorrow, and given that the Detroit Lions are the only team that keeps the Browns from being considered the worst NFL franchise in the Super Bowl era, let’s go Chiefs. I would like this spread all the better if it were still at -3 where it opened, but with the majority of the public (for some unknown reason) betting on the Lions ATS all week and yet the line moved in the opposite direction to -3.5 Chiefs, it has to mean that the real money is on a Kansas City team who ranks 15th overall in DVOA, and not the shambles of the 29th ranked Lions who would be best served to continue its house cleaning and be the second team this season to fire their head coach after returning from a loss in the UK. Chiefs cover in the win, and London’s left calling for a better slate of games next year.


Chicago +1 vs Minnesota. Remember last week when I said Minnesota was better than you think? Like almost all things in these posts, I might have been exaggerating some. I mean, really, if you take a good hard look at their 4-2 record, do they look all that improved from last year’s 7-9 squad and poised to mix it up behind the Packers as a potential NFC Wild Card team? Or have they mostly just benefited from playing the easiest schedule in the NFL thus far? I’m now convinced it’s the latter and that they certainly aren’t good enough to win back-to-back division games on the road at the season’s halfway mark when each game begins to matter more. Meanwhile, as much as Chicago has had its own struggles sitting at 2-4, they have played the second toughest schedule in the league while dealing with key injuries offensively that even saw Jimmy Clausen squeeze in a couple of starts. The Vikings are currently set to trend down as the Bears are trending up, Chicago’s also playing at home where Minnesota hasn’t won since 20071, and the Bears are healthier then they’ve been all season and have a head coach in John Fox who hasn’t lost coming out of a bye week in 7 years. This one’s too easy. The Vikings are who we thought they are and it’s not very good. And the Bears, though they certainly aren’t very good either, will definitely be the better of these two teams tomorrow.


Seattle -5 at Dallas. Does that spread seem low to you too? I get how -5 reflects Seattle as the clear favorite, as it should, but I sense a trap with it not being at least a touchdown. Am I missing something here? Let’s go through the checklist, just to be sure. Though both teams are below .500, Seattle right now is without question the better team on both sides of the ball. Check for Seattle. Even if Dez Bryant is cleared to play after being out since Week 1 with a fractured foot, not only will his action be limited, but he will be trying to shake the rust of a month off while lining up across from Richard Sherman all day. Check again, Seattle. Dallas’ run defense is rated as the third worst in the NFL2 and will be facing a Beast Mode who just ran all over the 49ers the last we saw him. Check another box for Seattle. And then there’s the harshest reality of them all, the story of this Cowboys team without Romo being 0-4 this season. Check, and mate. If this gets up to 7 points there might be some cause for pause, but at -5 with the Seahawks needing to make up ground in the NFC West and facing a broken Cowboys team without Tony Romo, there’s simply no chance Dallas gets within 6 points in this one.




Some advice for Cleveland fans: There’s a better chance of balmy days in February on the shores of Lake Erie than there are in the Browns winning this Sunday. There’s no guarantees being given here, other than that the Cards will rush for at least 1,200 yards, but if I were to bet on this one I’d take Arizona -6. And for all those with a closet full of brown & orange who swore last week that they’ve had enough and can’t watch the Cleveland Browns anymore, might I recommend instead at 1pm you watch the undefeated Bengals visiting the 4-3 Steelers and the return of Big Ben. It’s sure to be a better viewing even if you are a die hard Cleveland fan who’s recently claimed said death to have occurred, but you’re still going to root for these two teams to both somehow find a way to lose tomorrow because Cincinnati and Pittsburgh can forever suck it. Even then, still the better football game, and I like Pitt as a pick em. Go Browns.


– Mike James


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  1. Thanks to Defend Cleveland’s statistician “Mr. Sanders” for that one []
  2. According to PFF []

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Posted by on Oct 31 2015. Filed under Featured, Show Reports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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