It’s Over Johnny
It’s over. Johnny Manziel’s undefeated streak as the Browns starting quarterback has ended not by a spine snapping hit from some Steeler thug but by a half bottle of nightclub champagne. Has anyone ever become and then lost a starting QB job on a bye week? That’s some really Brownsy shit there… It really is a new low for the organization that has spent the last century in the muck. Look at the positive. John W. Football never won as the Browns official starting QB, but he never lost either. That will be something he can lord over Charlie Frye and Ty Detmer in upcoming years when he reminisces about his brief stint as a professional football player at some awkward card signing show at a Cleveland VFW Hall. I picture him doing so in a backwards baseball cap with some equally fratboy jock standing behind him Kenny Powers style saying “Fucking A right Johnny…”. It’s not much, but it’s something, right?
About 15 minutes after promising the Browns he wouldn’t do anything to embarrass the organization, John W. Football decided to not only party with some of his douchey posse at some really horrible club, but to make sure it was posted on social media. It’s really incredible. Let’s not pussyfoot around here. Johnny Manziel is shit stupid. There is really no other conclusion. Somewhere in a musky smelling apartment with a Scarface poster and an X-box, Josh Gordon is saying “That Johnny Manziel is one stupid motherfucker. Who wants to play FIFA?” It’s rough when something like that comes from Josh Gordon, you know? Josh Gordon drinking on that team plane last year seems downright reasonable when compared to this incident.
I know that the PC Police will come out of the woodwork to speak in hushed voices. “Johnny has a disease. We must help him.” I’m just some dude with a computer, but I’m not buying that for a second. You know who has a disease? Daryl Strawberry. Doc Gooden. Josh Hamilton. Those guys are a friggin’ mess. I think John W. Football is an entitled little fucker that never had anyone hold him accountable before. He has always wormed out of trouble. I think he likes to party because it’s fun and he doesn’t give a shit about the consequences because there never have been any. Well, before this, anyway…
The one good thing for Mike Pettine is he has a shot to beat the Ravens on Monday night with Josh McCown and his broken ribs. A win would be good for him. This ship is going down. If I’m Pettine I start distancing myself from Manziel being brought in at all with statements like, “The organization knew that Johnny was high risk/high reward, and I have obviously always preferred the steady veteran leadership of Josh, but I don’t assemble the roster… I will let Ray answer why he thought taking Johnny in the first round was a good idea. I’m just trying to do the best I can with the players we have…” Then I would purse my lips in a pained expression. It’s all he’s got really. This is the worst season since the Butch Davis panic attacks and that’s really saying something. The Browns seemed more together when Romeo Crennel was at the helm and I always wondered if he was awake.
The torch will be passed. Next man up. The NFL has a way of sweeping guys like this under the rug. You think Ryan Mallet’s phone is ringing? Paging Rice, Ray Rice… Remember what happened to Vince Young? Shit, that guy won games and took a team to the playoffs. You know what he’s doing now? Shaking hands as a greeter in a steakhouse, jacking off in a sock, and wishing he would have looked at a playbook. Not only has John Football shot himself in the foot Plaxico Burris style, but he never showed the league he could actually play. That’s going to be a real problem. Teams will put up with a psychopath like Greg Hardy if he can play. They will not put up with a little asshole for a backup QB. Brandon Weeden is one of the worst QBs this decade. He is also on an NFL roster because he is a known commodity that won’t do something crazy to embarrass the team. Johnny appears to think he’s Joe Namath partying across a rap video. I kind of see him as that guy at the Frat party that everyone wants to punch in the face. Well, it was a helluva ride. But it’s done now. Johnny Manziel forever will be linked with guys like Ryan Leaf, JaMarcus Russell and Todd Marinovich. A bust.
John, I will miss you. You were no Brandon Weeden, but you were exciting in your failure. You provided me with all the spectacular doomed entertainment value I fully expected when the Browns drafted you. The death spiral was maybe even more spectacular than I thought. This horrible organization needed this disaster just like you needed the Browns to provide you the ideal setting for your failure. You were destined for one another. You may not know it now, but it’s over. All of it. The fame, the nightclubs, the chicks, the celebrity friends… You might think you’ll land on a roster somewhere, but that will be an illusion, like the unicorn Teebow was chasing. Time to pack up, head back to Texas, and look forward to the rest of your life as a country club asshole. Adios John Football. I will miss you.
Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/
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