The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Is It Over?

Is It Over

The Browns were out of it the second the ball was kicked off against the Bengals. “And there’s the kick!  And it’s over!”  This did not catch the sparse crowd by surprise, as they seemed to spend most of the game laughing at the organization’s continued failure to even field a competitive team.  There must have been six shots on the telecast of people pointing and laughing as the Browns stumbled around doing whatever the fuck it was they were doing.  I suppose that since these fans have already ponied up for their tickets, they might as well get some enjoyment out of this fiasco.  I’ve seen the fans in the past get mad at the team, or been morose about the team, but this is the first time that fans have just started to laugh directly at the comedy of errors being presented as “professional football”.  That’s not good.  It really is a new low.  

It is very important for the city to try and distance itself from this organization.  I would suggest that Mayor Frank Jackson introduce legislation to either charge the Browns for using the word “Cleveland” in their brand or just see if they can have it eliminated completely.  For example, next week the listings for the game should be “San Francisco 49ers at Browns”.  That way the Browns aren’t so much from here as just somebody we let lose football games in the area.  It’s sort of like the circus or the Ice Capades passing through. Old timers can talk about it over coffee at McDonald’s like “I hear that football outfit is going to play some other fellas from out west over by the lake.”  It’s just a civic curiosity instead of a way for strangers to identify us with those embarrassing losers in the ugly football pants.

Before we go further, here’s a few quick notes on the game…

  • It was pointed out to me by Mr. James of Defend Cleveland that the Browns game plan to deal with Bengal receiver AJ Green was to do nothing but ask Tramon Williams, “Bro?  You got this?”.  He did not.
  • If you told me that 1st round pick Cameron Erving had never played offensive line before this year I would say “Ah!  That explains it!”.  He looks physically outmatched, confused, and unaware of basic technique.  This is not what one expects to see in a first round draft choice.
  • It was nice to see Barkevious Mingo get a half a sack today.  I’m really excited to see him back in football after what I assume has been a “walkabout” sabbatical over the last two years.
  • If I read Brian Hartline’s body language correctly, it says, “Why am I the only one that knows where I am supposed to be on every play?  Can I get out of this contract?”
  • Mike Pettine has lost 15 of his last 17 games he has coached.  Amazing.  Yet, he seems barely engaged in the process.  He is trying to play that “I’m a steady hand in rough seas” card but he comes off as “Should I tell anyone that this headset isn’t plugged in?”.
  • This is one of the worst professional football teams I have ever seen.  While the talent is awful, they also have almost no sign of effort from key positions.  There is no quick fix either.  They are going to be really bad for years.  Anyone that pays for tickets is a damn fool.  You’ll have a harder time scoring a Lake Erie Monsters ticket than a Browns seat in 2016.    
  • The Bengals could have scored 70 if they wanted to while I don’t think the Browns could have scored a touchdown unless one or more of the Bengals fell down with a seizure of some kind.
  • Does Jimmy Haslam know he still owns the team?  Was he burned in a horrible accident and concerned about appearing in public?  Where is that guy?
  • The Browns have no chance to win another game.  Maybe ever.

I should have placed my entire 401k on the Bengals today.  Oh, I wagered very aggressively against the Browns, I just should have gone all in.  I’d be driving around in a mink car right now.  I knew it was a mistake.  When both Barnidge and Benjamin got hurt in the first quarter, the biggest playmaker on the Browns side of the ball was Marlon Moore.  Or Marion Motley.  To note how low $9 million dollar receiver Dwayne Bowe has fallen, some guy they signed off the street put up more production in the second quarter than Bowe has in 2015.  Darius Jennings?  Who the hell was that guy?  Note to Dwayne Bowe:  If you can’t get on the field on this Browns team, it is probably safe to assume that your profession will be changing shortly from “wide receiver” to “something else”.  I wonder if the Browns tried to track down “Stars of the Past” like Brian Robiske or Greg Little?  Anyone have Quincy Morgan’s number?  The Browns offense gives the team no chance to win.

If only the offense was the largest problem.  The Browns defense appears unable to stop either the run or the pass.  This is a real problem in a sport where the other team will be coming at you exclusively with a “run” or “pass”.  I read how the Browns have the highest paid defense in the NFL. Is that true or just a wild Internet rumor started by Isis?  As the Browns defense is absolutely awful, I have come to the conclusion that either the GM that decided to pay these players or the coaches making the schemes don’t know what the fuck they are doing.  It’s both, probably.  Ray Farmer might be the worst general manager in the history of organized sports.  Literally everything that guy touches turns to dogshit.  He should go back in time for the chance to draft Sam Bowie instead of Michael Jordan in Portland.  I’ll bet even now he still thinks the Chargers got a great break in ending up with Ryan Leaf instead of Peyton Manning.  In the unlikely event that Ray Farmer is still employed as the Browns general manager after this season mercifully ends, I would suggest he be sent to Guantanamo to guarantee he doesn’t get his hands on the 2016 draft.  

Go Browns.   

 

-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.

 

Listen to last Monday’s “The Defend Cleveland Show” in its entirety by clicking here.

The DC Show with host Mike James airs live every Monday morning from 9am-11:30am on WRUW-FM 91.1 Cleveland, and streams world wide here.

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Posted by on Dec 6 2015. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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