The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Browns Can’t Be Stopped (The Winning Streak Has Begun…)

Browns Can't Be Stopped

Postgame accounts on major national sports news outlets will refer to the Browns “dominating” the 49ers as it is looked upon with distaste to have a headline stating “Browns Kick Fuck Out Of Sack Of Shit 49ers”.  I hope it was a long flight back to the West Coast for the 49ers as when you have been dominated by a football team as terrible as the Browns, it’s time for some soul searching.  I will need to look it up, but I believe that the last time the Browns won at home Bernie Kosar was QB and the city had just put the river fire out. I had become convinced that the Browns would never win again.  Like the 49er players, I am also reeling in shock.   

I did feel happy for some of the players yesterday.  The defense absolutely destroyed the 49ers up front.  I didn’t read any of the comments from any Browns defensive players after the game, but I hope no one went to the “This is what we are capable of” card.  To me, when I hear that, I think “Why did you just tell me you could have done this across 13 games but elected to do so once in the 2015 season?”.  We all know that claim is complete horseshit, but if anyone over there even thinks it, it will piss me off.  Regardless, this is the one time all season when those defensive guys are driving to the Monday film session while not having a feeling of complete dread over them.  Good for them.  No matter what team you are playing, getting 117 sacks is not easy.  Blaine Gabbert must have felt like it was the good old days when he was a Jag.

The Browns special teams had another kick blocked.  The last team I saw a team that had 3 of their last 4 kick attempts blocked was the Garwood Middle School Cougars, of which I was a proud member.  It wasn’t really the middle of the line’s fault like it is for the Browns, as we were just boys waiting for pubic hair playing against farm kids that had full mustaches.  Little boys tend to be vulnerable to being “bullrushed” by men, as might be the case with the Browns.  They should try and sort it out when they watch the film (as Pettine would say).

The Browns offense had enough of a pulse to get the win, looking competent by running the ball with relative ease.  Isiah Crowell helped himself tremendously by having a great game.  That guy needed that if he wanted to continue to make an NFL check. He certainly would need more highlights from this year than falling forward in a pile for two yards as we have seen the rest of the season.  It also is fun to watch John Football running around out there on broken plays.  I would love to hear him in one of those “mic’d up” segments where he must be making sort of a “Whoah! Whoooooah!  Whoah!” as he is circling around hoping something good happens. If I were a producer, I would also mike up the Browns offensive coaches in the booth as they must toss out all kinds of colorful profanity when John Football doesn’t quickly throw the ball to the primary receiver as the play had been drawn up.  Still, if the team is going to be lousy, it is better to be “entertaining and lousy” than the “boring and lousy” we usually see in December.  

I should be happy with the win.  Certainly the atmosphere must have been electric for the approximate 547 fans that attended this marquee NFL matchup.  Yet I can’t help but feel a dark lining on this silver cloud.  Why do I immediately envision the Browns front office talking themselves out of getting a legit NFL QB with a Top 3 pick next year and instead talking themselves into Manziel being “The Guy” based on the unicorn of this game.  “Well, I know we got killed in all of those games at the end, but did you see what Manziel did against the 49ers?  If we could just get him to do that every week, we can draft this overweight tackle from Notre Dame who just had two knee surgeries to play out of position for us instead of taking Studsy McStudderson at QB!  That’s our move!” And with the #3 pick in the NFL draft, the Cleveland Browns select Rickety McRickerson, guard Notre Dame…  And at #4, the Baltimore Ravens take Studsy McStudderson, future Hall of Fame QB.   

That’s just being pragmatic.  As a Browns fan, we all know that even a win is going to turn out to be disaster.  The key is to be able to look ahead and try and guess how it will result in future failure.  I can already hear brain dead Browns fans calling sports talk radio shows pointing to this game as absolute proof that John W. Football is The Answer.  I just don’t think that a guy that celebrated a first down he got via being tossed out of the end zone by his face like a used Kleenex will lead an NFL team to The Promised Land.  He sure was excited about that play though.  Oh well, onto Seattle!  We can’t be stopped!  We are on a roll!

Go Browns.    

 

-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.

 

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Posted by on Dec 14 2015. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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