The DEFEND Cleveland Show

RG3 Era Begins

The Browns have signed RG3.  This would be very exciting news if it was 2012.  Unfortunately it is 2016.  Robert Griffin was the guy that totally redefined the QB position in 2012.  Remember how awesome he was in that Gatorade commercial?  That was until it turned out that spindly little guys get hurt badly when enormous dudes hit them really hard.  Who saw that coming?  Griffin had an amazing rookie year.  After that he went 5-15 with a QBR of 39, which beat only Chad Henne and Blake Bortles.  Wow.  Let that sink in a moment.  Nobody else but Chad Henne and Blake Bortles played worse statistically than Robert Griffin.  This also means that The Full Weeden has been better than RG3.  Let this idea wash over you as you fill out your 2016 Browns season ticket check.  Plenty of great seats still available.  Robert Griffin has played more poorly than any other QB the Browns have had since 2013 and the Browns just gave him $7 million dollars to come play quarterback.  Fuck yes.  

Getting RG3 this far down the line and being as excited as the Browns are about it is like having your buddy burst into the room and announce he had sex with Suzanne Summers.  “Wow, you mean like in the ’80s when you lived in LA or something?”  No man, we just did it at a Holiday Inn where she was addressing an AARP Convention.  “Oh, I see.  Um, whattya say we order a pizza and not talk about that.”  I’m sure Ms. Summers is lovely, but…  It sure would have been more impressive years ago.

I believe the Browns are headed towards a catastrophic season that they will attempt to confidently point to as, “The Process”.  Guys in sports management like saying things like “The Process” as it makes it seem like everything has been foreseen as part of a Grand Masterplan.  They will pretend that fielding a historically bad team is somehow part of getting better.  3-13 might have been bad, but it isn’t bad enough to rebuild from, so better get to 2-14 or 1-15.  Then we can get cracking!  

So far this off season the completely untested front office has let five starters leave in free agency, were unable/unwilling to sign any free agents of their own, had been called unprofessional, and are headed into a draft where none of the people making the personnel decisions have ever done so in any capacity.   I don’t follow the Patriots that closely, but my gut tells me this might not be how they do things.

I am not sure what the Browns have accomplished with this Griffin signing.  With no other team even mildly interested, the Browns decided that they would be the ones to get him back on track to greatness and give him millions of dollars.  This would fly in the face of convention as they have not been able to identify talent in the QB position in almost a quarter century.  Why the team that signed and failed with Trent Dilfer, Jeff Garcia, and Jake Delhomme thought this will work is mystifying.  Can someone explain why Griffin is a better option at QB than McCown?  Maybe there are “analytics” I just can’t get my brain wrapped around.  I have been too busy watching Griffin fail to execute plays as a Redskin.  

The rebuild has begun.  The first major move of The New Browns Part 7 is to bring in dinged up RG3, a man that was active for one game last year and was beaten out by Colt McCoy.  Hey, that’s super.  They must have not been able to land Chad Henne.  My only hope is that with the #2 pick they can pick up a matching cornerback to Justin Gilbert or perhaps a future Hall of Fame interior lineman like Cam Erving.  (Side note, unlike every other athlete on the planet “Big Erv” has posted no photos of himself working out, but he has on numerous occasions told people to stop telling him what to do.  He should be completely dominant next year.  Don’t worry.  Follow him on Twitter.  He’s a hoot.)

As we approach the draft the question will be if the Browns take a QB at #2.  They should take a QB but this probably means that it is a guarantee they will do something stupid instead in the effort to appear as the smartest person in the room.  You better buckle up Browns fan.  I think they are going to go full in on some sort of doomed multi-year scorched earth plan to take a QB #1 overall NEXT YEAR.  This would suggest that they will use RG3 or McCown as sacrificial lambs behind a patchwork line with “Big Erv” at center.  God help them.  The 2016 Browns is going to be a team that will make the 1999 Browns look like the ’85 Bears.  

This organization cannot be trusted with even the smallest task.  Why the fan base has collective amnesia every year prior to the draft is amazing.  “The team has a plan.  I have to believe that.”  Why would you believe that?  Why would anyone think they will get it right this time?  They have NEVER gotten it right.  In prior years they at least had people that had experience in football.  The guys they have in place are as qualified to put this team together as they are to lead a submarine mission.  Periscope down.  The journey has begun.

Go Browns.

 

-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.

 

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Posted by on Mar 24 2016. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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