The DEFEND Cleveland Show

A Lossier Loss

a-lossier-loss

Though it appeared to be a bit touch and go for a moment, the Browns did what they needed to do and keep The Magical Season on track.  I thought it was quite innovative to have three straight second half turnovers, especially the one in the Washington red zone.  It’s that sort of commitment that we will need to see this thing through.  We are only 25% of the way there after all.  I don’t like to see the positive effort many of the players are exerting as this goes counter to what we need to go the distance.  It makes me regret cutting Justin Gilbert loose.  Can we get Gerard “Big Money” Warren back? Who has Phil Taylor’s number?  The good news is that the limitations of the roster appear to make an almost perfect game plan executed flawlessly the only possible way to win.

When watching the Browns, it is always important to keep in the back of your mind “How will they find a way to lose this game?”.  This is the exact opposite of when I watch Pittsburgh, Seattle or Denver.  While those teams can be completely outplayed for 59 minutes, they make something happen at the end to retire to the locker room for backslaps and clichés. “Well, it was tough going for awhile.  We knew someone had to make a play and thank God for (insert obscure player name here).  We have a bunch of guys in this locker room that believe in each other and never give up.  We are just happy to get out of here with a win and look forward to preparing to play again next week.”

The Browns need to adopt a Brownsy version of this nonsense speak for their postgames.  “Well, it looked like we were going to win this for sure.  Thank the Lord we were able to find a way to get creative and turn the ball over three times in a row.  Malcolm went out there and really made a play when it looked like we were going in for that backbreaking score. That fumble was huge and exactly what we needed.  Every guy in this locker room knows that he is part of the bigger picture.  If Duke fumbles early and gets hurt, it’s next man up.  Cody needs to float one over the middle.  We need to keep finishing late like this.  We have big goals.  We have to keep focused and try to put together a signature loss. We know we have it in us. We all believe in each other and know we can lose if we lose together.  We look forward to preparing to lose again next week, God willing.”

One of my favorite things about this season is how the local media has completely bought into the idea of the game results being irrelevant.  The Browns lose, but made big strides!  “Well, another loss but I really liked what I saw out there.  You can see players developing.” What is this horseshit?  This is the only organization in the history of the NFL that has openly fielded a team with no pressure to win.  They are like the Washington Generals doomed to lose to the Globetrotters every night.  They are a team that exists only to play the other real teams.  They are the third grade soccer team that gets participation trophies.  “Cody, you tried very hard!  Here’s your participation trophy!”.  The fan base has been duped into looking not at the game results but instead looking at completely subjective player evaluations.  This is the genius of the current Browns Front Office, not talent evaluation.  I don’t know how long they can keep it going, but kudos to you gentlemen!

The big news of the week was the inevitable flame out of Josh Gordon.  Josh Gordon is blessed with the physical talent of a thoroughbred and apparently the intellect to match.  The only person in NFL history that has shot themselves in the foot as badly as Josh Gordon was Plaxico Burress, who literally shot himself in the foot in a New York nightclub.  OK, leg, but close enough…  It now seems absurd that Browns fans thought Josh Gordon would triumphantly return to the lineup. Though an estimated 98.7% of the NFL’s players smoke weed on a regular basis, Gordon is the only one that ever gets caught.  Who could have seen this coming?  Somehow a summer spent with John W. Football didn’t result in a positive outcome for Josh Gordon.  I bet Josh had a killer time at Coachella though.

The result of the completely predictable Josh Gordon flameout was the fan base immediately clamoring for a big money contract extension for Terrelle Pryor on the basis of one (1) game.  Pryor, who has been playing receiver for almost 17 minutes, was completely MIA in the game vs Washington with the exception of that Q1 red zone TD, so perhaps the fan base will temper the desire to give him a Calvin Johnson contract.  Pryor is a great athlete and a pretty good receiver.  But let’s all keep our junk in our pants, shall we?  He is the best receiver the Browns have at the moment, but that is because he is the only receiver they have at the moment.  During the lineup introductions CBS actually had listed at wide receiver, “Terrelle Pryor and a bunch of guys”.

The schedule now begins to get a bit harsh.  This week the Browns play New England after a loss and with Brady back at QB. Hmm.  That doesn’t sound good.  Here’s the great news:  The score doesn’t matter.  As long as we see more player development, we are all winners!  “Well Deke, though the Browns just lost 31-10, I loved some of the progress I saw with the interior line, didn’t you?”.  Plain Dealer exclaims:  “Browns Winners Despite Loss”.  “Hi Mike, long time listener and first time caller…  I thought that loss was less lossier than the last loss.  I love what I am seeing with how the guys are losing each week in a very productive way.  Don’t you think it’s time for them to really take the next step and lose in a dominant way?  When will we get their statement loss?  I will hang up and listen to your answer…  Love the show!”

Go Browns.

 

-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.

 

Listen to last Monday’s “The Defend Cleveland Show” in its entirety by clicking here.

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Posted by on Oct 3 2016. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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