The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Week 10: Holy Shit, Browns Played Watchable Football… Just Not Winnable Football

Photo by Joshua Gunter for Cleveland.com, used without permission

It gives you a good idea how low a franchise has sunk when getting thumped by the Lions by 14 points is considered a high water mark.  Yet is was undeniable that for a good portion of the game I was thinking about various scenarios on how the Browns would lose at the end as opposed to being totally out of it in the third quarter.  Perhaps that is part of “the process” we have all heard so much about.  Regardless, portions of that game were actually enjoyable.  I had forgotten what it was like to watch a Browns game where there was a willing suspension of disbelief in the eventual outcome.  They looked like a legitimate NFL team for entire stretches of that game.  

DeShone Kizer played his best game as a pro against the Lions.  He actually looked like a real professional football player.  Now, I want to temper that by saying he didn’t look like Tom Brady so much as he did Sam Bradford, but frankly the Browns will take what they can get.  It was interesting to note that with almost average QB play, the team suddenly looked like a real NFL team.  Once again, when I say “team” I mean “Cardinals” not “Patriots”.  However, that is an improvement from being compared to a MAC team.  Think of it.  If the Browns traded for Eli Manning, the Browns would look like the 1-8 Giants but with Eli in an ugly Browns uniform.  That’s how close the team is to being “crappy” instead of “historically bad”.

The downside in the game for Kizer is he almost had his entire rib cage broken because Njoku blew a blocking assignment and let that Lion DB sprint 25 yards and hit Kizer with everything he had.  Kizer had so much air leave his lungs that he blew out some kid’s birthday cake in Ann Arbor.  About 15 minutes later Njoku did the same thing and almost got Kessler killed.  Njoku looks like that blissfully unaware guy that smiles in the film room when they show him these catastrophic failures and goes “That’s on me coach!  Won’t happen again!”.  Then ten minutes later he makes the same mistake while saying “My bad!  That’s on me!” with a big goofy grin.  Njoku needs to get better at football before someone breaks a spine.

Kessler looked terrible in his brief relief outing.  He reminded me of when Freddo fumbles around with his gun in “The Godfather” as Don Corleone gets gunned down outside the market.  This NFL thing just isn’t for Cody.  At one point after that unbelievably bad overthrow of a somehow wide open Treggs, I was concerned that Kessler was going to sit down on the field and start crying.  If Kessler had any honor, he would have fallen on a samurai sword after that play.  When whoever is in the front office is considering keeping or cutting Kessler as the third QB next year, that play should be what they think about.     

There will be a great deal of discussion over that debacle to end the first half.  Hue Jackson is killing himself trying to play the role of the “heroic coach of the young undermanned team”.  He likes to remind everyone that the players are the ones making the mistakes but it’s “on him”.  Just look at how stoic and responsible he is!  What a leader of men!  Just in case you forgot, it’s the players that made the mistakes though.  Did he mention that?  How the players made the mistakes?  Oh, he did?  This is the frazzled look of a man that is clinging to whatever he can to try to stay in the NFL coaching ranks.

What is interesting about how they let the clock run out without getting any points is that neither coach or QB used any sense whatsoever.  With 15 seconds and no time outs, Kizer decided to audible to a sneak.  From the two and a half.  That was stupid.  The play he allegedly audibled from was a handoff to Duke Johnson.  Also a really stupid play call.  What 31 other NFL teams would have done was to run two quick passes in the end zone and kicked a field goal if those failed.  That is just one of the many reasons why the Browns are 4-42 in their last 46 games and Jackson is 1-24.

The Browns play Jacksonville at home this Sunday.  Early Vegas lines have stopped using numbers and are now using the phrase “no chance”.  I don’t know how to make a parlay bet with “Eagles -3/Jaguars – no chance”, but I’m sure they can explain it to me at the window at the Bellagio.  It is actually a historic game.  The Browns will set the all time NFL record for futility with the expected loss, lunging past the Lions for a 4-43 mark over 47 games.  They need to lose the rest of them to catch the Lions 0-16 and 1-31 mark over two years.  If they continue to play together, as a team, I think they can get it done.  Here we go Brownies, here we go.  Woof.  Woof.   

Go Browns.

 

-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.

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Posted by on Nov 13 2017. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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