The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Week 11: Why In The Hell Are Fans Still Going To These Games?!

Photo by Joshua Gunter for Cleveland.com, used without permission

In what was perhaps the most exciting play of the season, Jacksonville recovered yet another Kizer fumble in the end zone for what appeared to most as an otherwise meaningless touchdown.  That play for me was absolutely wonderful.  I was dancing around in my living room almost crying as I had taken what is referred to in the financial sector as “a strong position” in Jacksonville covering a 6.5 point spread.  I had concerns about a garbage time TD from the Browns at the end, but thankfully that didn’t materialize.  This is what has become of the 2017 Browns season.  It’s not wondering if the Browns will lose, but by how many.

The defense played well.  They gave the team a chance to win.  Now, to be fair, the Jags all but emailed the Browns their game plan.  “We are going to run it.  We are going to run it a lot.  All our receivers are hurt.  That means we are going to run it.”  The other bonus is that Blake Bortles is awful.  The Jaguars have no chance of winning in the Playoffs with that guy.  Blake Bortles is one of those things I don’t care for, like potato salad.  I don’t think about potato salad that often, so when I come in contact with it I am reminded how terrible it is.  “Oh, that’s right.  Potato salad sucks.”  It’s the same when I watch Blake Bortles.

The Browns offense is hopeless.  Duke Johnson is the only guy that can make a play.  That’s it.  Yet, they don’t give him the ball that often.  Instead they continue to focus on the idea of having Kizer whip it downfield to whoever happens to be there, Brown or otherwise.  Corey Coleman looked like a professional receiver at times.  He appears to be a slot receiver, which means the team used a #1 pick on a guy that fills a role the Patriots manage to find on the waiver wire every year.  I don’t really know what else to say.  It’s the same shit every week with those guys.  The defense needs to hold teams to under 10 for a chance to win.

Is it too early to say Jabril Peppers is a bust?  I thought it might have been too early a few weeks ago, but I don’t now.  That guy is all but invisible.  Well, except when he is fumbling kicks of course.  Then he is very noticeable.  When the team drafted him to “make plays”, I would have to think the idea was “good plays” not “fuck up punt returns”.  I didn’t think I would ever get nostalgic for Dennis Northcutt but I will be damned if I didn’t look him up on Google to see if he was on the free agent wire to return a few punts.  (He is.  He’s also 41 and sells commercial real estate.  He might have an artificial hip.  OK.  I made the real estate part up.  The hip part is probably true.  The point is that Peppers is still going to still muff punts the rest of this season.)   

I would like to speculate on why anyone would have gone to that game in person.  There were about 40,000 people that woke up, looked outside their window to see it was sleeting, and then said “It sure would be fun to sit outside in the wind and watch the Jags run the ball 74 times and the Browns go three and out over and over again.  Let me get my special Browns knit cap!  Start the car!”.  There is nothing that happened all afternoon that could be described as “fun”.  Certainly not the kind of fun that justifies spending $12 on Bud Lights and $8 on uncooked hot dogs as you struggle against wind burn.  For God’s sake, stay home you fools.  There is nothing at that stadium for you.  Avert your eyes.  0-16 here we come.

Go Browns.

 

-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.

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Posted by on Nov 19 2017. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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