The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Weak 15: DeShone Kizer Is The Worst QB Ever

Photo by John Kuntz for Cleveland.com, used and edited without permission

I stopped watching the Browns game midway through the third quarter.  By the looks of the stadium, most of the remaining fan base had bailed out as well.  By that point Kizer has singlehandedly insured the 14th loss of the season with yet another strip sack in the end zone and yet another pick in the end zone.  Wow, does that guy suck.  He has absolutely no touch whatsoever.  He fires everything like a high fastball that is high and outside.  After this debacle season is over, he will stand around as a backup for his remaining NFL career.  All future head coaches will pray for the safety of their starter so The Worst QB Ever doesn’t have to enter the game.  

I often wonder what the sideline conversations between Hue and DeShone sound like.  If I was Hue, I would say things like “What the fuck were you trying to do there?” and “Are you personally trying to cost me my fucking career you goddamn shitbird?”.  Then again, I am not quite as positive as Hue Jackson, hence I have never been referred to as a “quarterback whisperer”.  I would be more of a “quarterback screamer” if I had my fate tied to DeShone Kizer.  Kizer is the absolute worst.

The level of quarterback play is so low it is impossible for the Browns to win a game.  The defense played a competitive game.  The defense had that nice goal line stand where the Ravens inexplicably sent Flacco on that naked bootleg dive.  When Flacco got that call from the booth he must have thought “who’s pissed at me?”.  Let’s not get carried away though.  The defense is overrated because of their proximity to that awful Browns offense, but it would be possible to win 4 or 5 games if the quarterbacking was at a base minimum level.  I’m not saying Aaron Rodgers or Russell Wilson.  I’m talking Josh McCown.  Hell, maybe even Luke McCown.  Maybe even Luke Wilson.  

All week in sports media I kept hearing how fans were all bent out of shape because Dorsey said The Lawyer didn’t provide enough good players.  Caller after caller to sports talk railed about “How would you feel if you were on the team and heard that?”.  Get real.  This is a ruthless business, and most of these guys are clinging to employment.  These guys have won one game in two years.  The players are the ones directly responsible for the 1-29 record, not the coaches.  Almost all of these guys suck.  Nobody on the team can be counted on to make a play.  The games aren’t even close enough to debate coaching moves.  “Hi, this is Greg from Cleveland.  Long time listener, first time caller.  Love the show.  I just wanted to say that if we had converted that third and three to start the second half with a pass, we probably wouldn’t have lost by 17 points.”     

Dorsey did the usual “New GM Bluster” move of saying that he expects to win the AFC North next year.  This is believed to be a way to “set a culture of winning expectations”.  To fans still paying attention, he is just another blowhard GM passing through that needs to figure out how to win a game before he starts to pretend that he’s a Machiavellian genius ready to impose his will.  I think most fans would settle for a team that went 6-10.  Before we start fitting the stadium for AFC North Champ flagpoles, maybe the focus should be on winning just one divisional game.  Baby steps.  

It is all but a certainty that the 0-16 dream season that was denied to us last year is about to become a reality.  Could Chicago screw it up next week?  Maybe.  What if Pittsburgh rests all their starters in Week 16?  No problem.  The Browns lost in that scenario last year too.  It’s time for that parade.  The Browns have earned it.

Go Browns.

 

-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.

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Posted by on Dec 17 2017. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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