The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Weak 16: Merry Christmas DeShone Kizer

Photo by Joshua Gunter
for Cleveland.com, used without permission

At no point did it appear that the Browns were going to compete with the Bears.  I would categorize this as “highly unsettling” as the Bears are likely the second worst team in the NFL to the Browns.  The Browns are two years into a multi year rebuild and have somehow become worse than they were at the launch point.  They have regressed from 3-13.  There isn’t even anything to look at on the field where hope can blossom.  They have managed to extinguish any sense that they will become better at any time in the future regardless of the circumstance.  If the Browns have a great draft, sign multiple key free agents, and have the few players worth keeping on the team progress, they will move from “worst of all time” to merely “terrible”.  They need to have all the pieces fall into place to catapult to 4-12 in 2018.

As I have noted before, it is impossible to win a game with DeShone Kizer at QB.  If you take Kizer and drop him into the Patriots/Eagles/Steelers lineup, that team loses.  He will never win a game as a starting quarterback in the NFL for one trait that the Browns failed to notice in the pre-draft scouting.  He’s very bad at football.  I would have thought that this would have been something a professional talent evaluator would have noticed in going over game film with a fine tooth comb.  Yet it somehow eluded the Browns front office.  Going 4-8 while at Notre Dame should have been a clue.  Notre Dame plays Army/Navy/Air Force, not the Steelers and Ravens.  Bumping up seven levels of competition might not have been the best move for DeShone after his sophomore season of getting pasted by shitty college teams.  When your college head coach says, “DeShone isn’t ready for the NFL”, that should have provided some idea of his future level of success.

It’s very difficult to win a football game when it is impossible that the team completes a pass.  This brings the spotlight on Hue Jackson as he once again jettisoned the running game at halftime to instead let Kizer toss the ball to random spots on the field.  In bad playing conditions, Hue Jackson for the second consecutive week decided to abandon running the ball.  The Browns ran the ball three (3) times in the second half.  The Bears ran it almost the entire game which suggests that their lame duck coach: 1) recognized passing would be difficult, and 2) figured out running the ball would be easier.  That’s from a guy that is about to be fired in Chicago.  We are keeping our guy.

Hue tried to explain the rationale for ignoring the weather and game conditions by speaking in tongues at the postgame press conference as he is oft to do.  The Hue Jackson press conference is something Salvador Dali would say is “some surreal shit”.  There must be deeper meaning into what Jackson is communicating as on the surface it makes no sense whatsoever.  It is all double talk and passive aggressive horse shit.  By the way, it’s not often that Salvador Dali references work their way into a sports column, but that’s where the Browns have us now.

Here’s the great news.  Jimmy Haslam has latched Hue onto the team for next season.  Only Haslam could fuck up firing his old GM to usher in a thorough house cleaning by insisting the coach that can’t coach has to stay.  Jimmy Haslam should not be trusted to make any decisions in any capacity.  For example, if the team is having a late meeting deciding on which college kid’s future they are going to destroy by drafting him #1 and someone says, “I’m hungry.  Does anyone want a pizza?”, under no circumstances should Jimmy Haslam be allowed to weigh in on that decision.  He is likely to blurt out “Dennys!”.  He’s the guy that you send out to get another case of beer for the party and he comes back with a bottle of ouzo and a bag of Fritos.  I don’t trust him with a TV remote, much less turning the fortunes around of the Browns.  Who knew we could be nostalgic for Randy Lerner?

Next week the Browns will conclude the season by getting their dicks kicked in the dirt by the Steelers.  They will fulfill their destiny and become the perfect 0-16 team they’ve always had in them.  I would suggest folding up the team at this point.  They tried.  They failed.  Let the few guys on this team with a future go play somewhere where the chance of winning hangs in the air.  The rest of these guys need to find a new line of work.  DeShone, Jabrill, Nojuku, and the other busts need to go back to school or learn a trade.  We can knock the stadium down, till salt into the soil, and forget all the Sundays we collectively wasted watching a hopeless endeavor.  Ultimately it’s all up to us.  This will continue if we let it.  Jimmy Haslam must be stopped.  He needs to get back to what he’s good at doing, which appears to be ripping off truck stops and selling microwave burritos.  Football just isn’t for him.  Go on home Jimmy.  You’ve done enough here.

Go Browns.

 

-Greg Miller

Be sure to check out more insensitive stuff written by Greg Miller at http://nursethehate.blogspot.com/

Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.

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Posted by on Dec 25 2017. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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