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Weak 14: Let’s Play Browns Lose Again “Fill In The Blank”

Allow me to be completely honest with you.  I did not watch anything but the bitter end of that game, I was busy with more important matters, as you probably should have been as well.  I am out on the West Coast where Cleveland Browns football is a sad thing to have come up in […]

Weak 13: The Never Ending Pit Of Doom

In what was a foregone conclusion, the Browns lost again.  At no point did it seem possible that the Browns would or could win the game.  The Browns looked completely outmatched.  This is clearly an issue when the opponent is 5-6 going in.  I would say that the team has hit bottom, but the one […]

Week 12: Sad Ass Browns Play Another Game Of Continued Failure

The Browns game today was like one of those Hollywood chick flicks.  Within five seconds of looking at it, it was apparent what was going to happen.  The really nice girl in glasses would take off her glasses for prom and only then would it be discovered that she had the looks of a sexy […]

Week 11: Why In The Hell Are Fans Still Going To These Games?!

In what was perhaps the most exciting play of the season, Jacksonville recovered yet another Kizer fumble in the end zone for what appeared to most as an otherwise meaningless touchdown.  That play for me was absolutely wonderful.  I was dancing around in my living room almost crying as I had taken what is referred […]

Week 10: Holy Shit, Browns Played Watchable Football… Just Not Winnable Football

It gives you a good idea how low a franchise has sunk when getting thumped by the Lions by 14 points is considered a high water mark.  Yet is was undeniable that for a good portion of the game I was thinking about various scenarios on how the Browns would lose at the end as […]

Browns Bungle Trade – Special Edition

By now I am sure you heard that the Browns somehow bungled trading for AJ McCarron because they couldn’t get the forms sent in correctly.  There is a version of the story where the Browns say the Bengals messed up the paperwork, but this doesn’t jive with any facts on NFL trade protocol.  There is […]

Week 8: Browns Play London, Too Bad They Can’t Just Stay There

This was probably my favorite Browns game of the year.  Getting the loss out of the way by Noon is an amazing way to reclaim Sundays and theoretically add a little productivity.  I would firmly suggest that the organization moves all future games to a 9am start.  In fact, I would suggest that the team […]

Week 7: Here We Go Again, Again

There was a point in the game when it appeared the unthinkable might happen.  No, I am not suggesting that the Browns would win.  No, my fear was that the team would tie the game and throw a wrench into the purity of their mission of futility.  0-15-1 is somehow uglier than 0-16.  That tie […]

Week 6: Any Given Sunday My Ass

Former NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle uttered the famous statement “On Any Given Sunday” in regards to league parity.  When he said that, there is no way he could have imagined the horror of the 2017 Cleveland Browns.  They make you nostalgic for the Johnny Manziel era Browns.  The team takes the field each week with […]

Week 5: There Is No Hope

A number of years ago I had an ingrown big toenail.  I went to a podiatrist’s office where a bored doctor looked down at my foot and said I needed a “procedure” to take care of it.  I asked him when we should schedule it, and he matter-of-factly said “we can just do it now […]

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