The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Jesus: Several Severe Reasons to Watch the Indians in September

joe c


Indians from the bottom of the eighth, one out.

Jesus Kauffman Stadium is crowded. They are very excited about the double stolen base on the Gomes error. I would not be just a nothing, my head all full of stuffing, my heart all full of pain, Escobar sings on the way home from the inning. Jesus Gomes is even more excited that Shaw saved him with the same slider three times in a row. On the Royals, their going out swinging and the lurid so sad faces of their fans does make the heart jump. Royals pen, top of the ninth. Aviles, ya bum! we’ve been saying for weeks since a lone statistician was hollering the same at the last game we attended.

Surprised Perez didn’t swing for the fences at that one in the dirt like he does everything else. I am drinking a beer now. Perez only speaks in colloquial Spanish, especially as he hits the high pop to first, easily caught. Tyler Holt hits the ball and well. He looks like a baseball player, something we are not treated to often enough in this town—players who look like players. He steals bases. Stole that one and looks to be perpetually fucking with the entire opposing team. He make-a them mad. With Bourn’s walk to first I am looking for a double stolen base, synchronized stealing. Ramirez farts it out, bottom of the ninth.

Cody Allen bottom of the ninth, Gordon up first. Jesus he crushed it and these fans are screaming like they didn’t already lose the series. Can’t even focus on who this next dude is grounding out. Two outs now. This is exciting. For them. Ramirez looks fast. Extra innings

Something is happening to Brantley on the tv but I am selling my wife on the merits of Joan Didion.

Santana’s swing is so long and tenebrous, like the first go round of a tetherball.

Who the fuck is airing this? espn2? Where is that hypnotizing tertiary-degree slow motion camera I’m used to from STO?

These royals fans in their baby blues, sheesh.

Royals pull a vintage 2014 indians defensive mishap and put a runner for us on first.

My beer is half done. I think it is strong. We really do think philosophically when we drink and to whom we don’t know.

Gomes is at bat and it looks like Kipnis on first? I wasn’t watching that. These team moustaches actually look good. Royals fans are blind, that infantilized Missouri vision, that was obviously a ball. Gomes with a hit sends Kipper to third. Kipnis seems the type, and I wish he was, to keep a spare beer in his back pocket. Not necessarily for himself but whomever makes a play that would be sponsored elsewhere were the market large enough to support more than a Circle K Strikeout and the never-before-won Jeep Grand Cherokee Grand Slam Give Away. It is always a question of identity around here. Chisenhall is up to bat and I can’t help but to think of Kyle MacLachlan circa Twin Peaks not for looks alone. Did you hear that sound off of his bat? Like a marble in a bathtub in a silent house within the most silent countryside, winter almost, bugs dead. It was beautiful. We have never found a suitable adjective for that word with good reason. My beer is empty.

The wind has begun to tumble the world across the field. Perez swings himself to bed again. Delay of game, tarp boys are running, hold on. These announcers are talking as if in the blue of the weather situation and that some man somewhere has the know how to call what will happen, as if there were no computers in that booth.

My wife and I are sharing our death faces. I hope mine is of total acceptance.


– Jon Conley

For more great offerings from Jon, follow him on  Tumblr.

Listen to last Monday’s “The Defend Cleveland Show” in its entirety by clicking here.

The DC Show with host Mike James airs live every Monday morning from 9am-11:30am on WRUW-FM 91.1 Cleveland, and streams world wide here.

And listen every Friday to “Defend Cleveland Friday with Mike and Joe”  by clicking here, a weekly hour long Cleveland sports podcast companion to the DC Show that’s the best way to end you week, and the only way to begin your weekend.

Short URL:

Posted by on Sep 1 2014. Filed under Featured, Show Reports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

Leave a Reply

Log in | Designed by Gabfire themes