The DEFEND Cleveland Show

Browns Lose To Chiefs, League Yawns


The Browns lost to a superior Chiefs team yesterday.  This was as expected as almost every team in the NFL, except the Tennessee Titans and San Francisco 49ers, are more talented than the Browns.  The game had that air of inevitability to it like a pornographic movie.  No matter the twists and turns, we all know how it ends…  And thus the Browns are now 3-12 with a really pissed off and motivated Steelers coming to town on Sunday.  Hooray.  The season is almost over and we can begin the best part of being a Browns fan; speculating on potential front office hires and future bust draft choices.  

The game yesterday was noteworthy in that the Browns are heading straight into the Doomsday Scenario with “The Johnny Manziel Question”.  Ostensibly these last few games would have provided a clear indication if John Football could be The Face of The Franchise and Someone We Can Build Around.  So far we can look at what has transpired and say, “Ummm… I dunno… I guess…. Unless someone else better is out there.”  I look at the John W. Football QB situation much like I did at my sophomore New Year’s Eve date scenario.  I was completely dedicated to ringing in the New Year with her… Unless someone better happened to be available around the old keg of Natural Light.  While this does point out my rather amoral shortcomings as a person, it is brutally honest.  In case I lost you, in this metaphor the Browns are the poorly dressed guy at the keg with the roving eye.  

At times John Football looks like a potentially real NFL QB.  At other times he looks like some little kid from the Make A Wish Foundation that got to run around on the field like a wild jackal.  Now, it doesn’t help Mr. Football that he has absolutely no offensive weapons.  Dwayne Bowe doesn’t even run routes anymore and just runs to a general area and jumps up and down yelling “Here!  Here!” much like I did as a second grader.  The Browns little fellas could not get open against the men that the Chiefs used to cover them.  Barnidge gets open, and then John W. Football would miss him making me think “That guy doesn’t belong out there”.   Then later on Manziel would smoke a pass to someone in a crease.  Who the hell knows…  The bottom line is that whoever Haslam hires as the next Wise Football Guru will decide if John W. Football gets the chance or not.  Being that the NFL likes to stick to the script, it will probably be somebody they blow their #1 pick on that is taller and just as shitty while Manziel goes onto mediocrity somewhere else.

The defense might have played their best game of the year… Or they might have played a crummy Chief offense.  Or maybe for them to play their best game of the year, they needed to play a crummy Chief offense.  It’s hard to say as the Browns eventual loss seemed inevitable to everyone even mildly paying attention.  The Chiefs seemed pretty relaxed about it.  Kansas City is not exactly known for lighting it up and they provided the level of offensive excitement that is always a hallmark of Kansas City Chief Football.  They scored on the Browns early and seemed content to run out the clock mid first quarter as a second Browns TD seemed almost impossible.  Kudos for the Browns defense for having the courtesy to show up this week, with the exception of Armonty Bryant, of course.

It’s always nice to get arrested on Christmas, especially for a DUI around Brookpark Rd. with Adderall and a gun.  While many will scold Bryant for putting his career in jeopardy (again), I’d like to look at the positive and say that he wasn’t driving, never saw that gun before, and also may never have seen that Adderall.  “That’s not mine!” is what I would have shouted over and over.  It was not ideal.  I would have liked to have had some prostitutes mixed into this situation, but maybe they had Christmas off.  Here’s how I see it…  Playing football is a dangerous way to make a living, and I am 100% in favor of having aggressive criminals with bad judgement on the defensive side of the ball.  It’s the cost of doing business.  However, since De’ante Sanders was driving and had the gun, we better let him go.  He doesn’t reflect the values of the team.  In a completely unrelated matter, I would also point out he is a member of the practice squad and is totally expendable.  De’ante Sanders jerseys now on sale at the Browns Team Shop, prices greatly reduced!      

There is one more loss to go and the real excitement begins.  Who gets fired?  Who doesn’t?  And why the hell not?  What bottom of the barrel front office guy will the Browns scoop from the “scratch-n-dent” bin?  What names will fans foolishly think will come here?  Who will help Alex Mack move?  How long before John Football does something crazy?  Has anyone seen Josh Gordon?  The real excitement of Browns Football is almost upon us.  Just one more gameday to kill…

Go Browns.


-Greg Miller

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Also check out Greg’s great country punkabilly band, The Whiskey Daredevils.


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Posted by on Dec 28 2015. Filed under Featured, Greg Miller on Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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